Stressful Week

Oh my word. It's only been about three days since I last wrote, but it feels like ages.

I've had a pretty stressful week. My grandfather died and the visitation and funeral was this weekend. I hate all things that have to do with funerals.

My computer went crazy yesterday while I was trying to do homework and that was not helping my stress levels. It's been acting up ever since and it had better straighten up because I can not have a computer that acts crazy during school.

I'm super tired. Since Wednesday I have stayed up past my bedtime (10:30pm) and I haven't gotten enough sleep. I need to change that. Yeah, it's not going too well because it's 11:30pm now and I'm up writing a blog.

I watched Australia Thursday night. I did not realize how long that movie was and it definitely made RG's text make more sense. I thought he was just being a baby and saying he needed sleep (he has no problems staying up late on Mondays and Wednesdays), but man! that was a LONG movie. It was close to 12am when I got home. I invited quite a few people to with me but RG and Carrie were the only ones that responded to my text. It was a good movie though and I would watch it again especially since I missed part of it! I had to pee!

Websites I've been looking at lately:
http://www.springfield-armory.com/
http://www.davebarnes.com/

And I've watched a few Dave Barnes YouTube videos. I love those. They make me laugh every time! If he would sell them, I would definitely buy all of them!

I'm going to bed. It's WAY past my bedtime and I'm tired. I only stayed up this late because I was watching Dave Barnes vids. haha! Good night!

Tired Like the Dickens!

Who doesn't watch American Idol? That is probably the only TV show I've watched since starting college. I'm completely okay with it too. TV is very lame.

My Grand Opening Pampered Chef show is Feb 3rd and 5th. I'm doing one show on two different nights. You pick the night that is best for you and come have fun with me! I'm so excited!

I cannot believe I'm almost finished with a month of school. It's so strange and yet very natural to be in college. It's not much different than home school and in that sense it's easy. You can pray for me though. I'm feeling really frustrated with my French class. I'm not doing as well as I could be. And I know I push my French homework to the back when I should do it FIRST every day and that doesn't happen. I'm going to talk to my professor hopefully tomorrow and talk about it. I would love to meet with her on a weekly basis, but I highly doubt that is possible, so I'm probably going to look into getting a tutor. I want to do as well as I possibly can and if that means getting help and having someone push me then I want that!

I'll have to let you guys read my Narrative/Descriptive essay for my English class. I'm thrilled with it. It starts the moment my Mom hit her head and ends after we walk out of the private "cry" room at the hospital. I can't wait for my professor to read it! Dad went over and looked for mistakes and helped me correct some things and I'm thinking about having RG do the same. I want as many opinions as I can get and as many suggestions as I can get to make this the BEST essay ever! So when I post it, feel free to give your advice!

Since last Wednesday I have had a dry mouth. It's the weirdest and most horrible thing ever. I don't know why I have it or how to make my saliva glands work again! But I want them to so badly! You don't realize how useful and amazing they are until they stop producing saliva. It's kind of scary just because I don't know what's wrong. It's kind of crazy too because I feel thirsty all the time!

I'm going to bed soon. I'm super tired. I am considering not riding with RG to the BCM anymore. He is way more social than I am and he stays up too late for this 5:30am girl. I don't do very well getting up that early and not getting enough sleep is like - how can I even compare it to anything? It's horrible! If I don't get enough sleep I'm grumpy, irritable, crave sweets (which is not good!), and I have no desire to talk in the mornings. You can ask any of my siblings it's pretty bad. I am not a morning person! But I do like getting up early because I feel like I'm more productive. I get more done. I feel like I haven't wasted my day! All of those reasons make me want to continue having 8am classes and getting up at 5:30 in the morning!
Oh, not to mention, when I ride to the BCM with RG and we leave late, I end up talking about cRazY stuff with him because I'm so stinkin' tired! Like alligators eating live chickens or the fact that I had a pet lizard. If you knew RG, you would probably laugh just thinking about him having that type of conversation. He's very intellectual, very... almost formal in his mannerism and language. So when I get up the next morning and I remember what kind of stuff I talked to him about it's a little embarrassing! Maybe I'm his link to little people in this world! haha. I don't know. I'm tired now and I'm rambling! Go figure! *giggles*

That is definitely my cue to go to bed! Good night people! I hope you are all having a wonderful week!

I am Gomer

I am going to Americus today. I'm kind of nervous. I haven't been in almost a year. It's always weird going back. It's the place I grew up, but it's not home. Plus, there are a lot of bad memories with Americus. I'm not saying all are bad, but a good bit definitely are.

I'm having my Grand Opening Pampered Chef party Feb 3rd OR Feb 5th. If you want to come RSVP by the 31st for the 3rd or by the 2nd for the 5th. You just pick one of those nights that work best for you, tell me you're coming and we'll have a party! So simple.

Pray for me. I am not feeling motivated to do homework and I really need to do it. Fridays just feel like my "off" day and I really don't want to do anything! Isn't that horrible?!

I have been thinking about Hosea a lot lately. RG is reading (he's probably done by now) Redeeming Love and now I can't get the book of Hosea out of my head. I keep thinking about how I am so much like Gomer and Hosea like Christ. I keep running away to do my own thing and yet Father Love time after time gently calls me back. I am blown away by His unfailing love. Oh how I do not desire Him and all He provides me like I should and He still offers it freely.

Seriously. My saliva glands are not working. It's freakish having a dry mouth all the time and I don't know what is causing them not to work, but it's annoying. I keep drinking water because I always feel thirsty. It doesn't help. I was reading online last night about it (dry mouth) and I just sat there feeling pretty dramatic and saying over and over, "I'm dying! I'm going to die!". *laughs* Anna told me to stop saying it and that just made me laugh even more! Any suggestions for making them work again?!

Ok, I'm off to study. I have a list of things I have to have done before Monday and if I don't get started now I won't get anything done.

"Those" Years and Random Stupid Stuff Because I'm Bored.

I am sitting outside in the cold wind and let me tell you! It is COLD!!!! My hands feel like they are freezing. But I'm sticking it out. I'm enjoying the sunshine which I feel like I don't get to do very often.

Have you read Andy Merrick's blog?! You should. You need to add him to the list of bloggers you follow. He's incredible. http://blog.andymerrick.com/

I don't really have anything of importance to write. I'm just writing random stuff because I can.

I'm excited about the Bible study tonight because Carrie is going to be there and I can tell her all of my guy stories and she, being a woman, will appreciate them more so than the guys that will be there! Besides Carrie is just funny and I love hanging out with her and I don't think I've seen her since last year (which is terribly sad! I miss her!). It promises to be a very good night!

I feel like my week has consisted of me talking to random guys. It's kinda weird and crazy. I've talked to at least 3 different guys for different reasons, but I don't do that in a normal week. It is interesting to say the least. But, umm... also confusing. Guys are confusing. I don't know. I should probably re-read Andy's blog (he's got some good ones on relationships! http://blog.andymerrick.com/?cat=19)

It feels like everyone I know is either getting married, getting engaged or getting in a relationship this year. It happens every couple years. You know, everyone you know and hang out with are in relationships or you know it's just a "matter of time" before they make it official. Man! I hate those years. Because I'm never on of "those" people. My time will come! (I keep repeating this to myself until I somewhat believe it! haha!! I'm so funny!).

I think I make myself laugh more than anyone else in the world. I just crack myself up sometimes! I'm not kidding! Sometimes I just laugh and laugh at whatever I've just said. And it probably wasn't even that funny to begin with! But I can't help it.

Right now I'm trying to remember what it feels like to feel my fingers. They are red and tingling. I'm about to go inside. Have a great day people. I'm off to find a warm place so I don't freeze in front of the school library. Not cool.

Obama

Did you watch the inauguration today? Obama's speech was AMAZING! Man, that guy, wait. stop. pause. rewind. Mr. President Barack Obama can write! He is the man when it comes to writing a speech!
My French Professor (bless her!) let us watch it. I will be forever grateful that she did. I hated that I was going to miss it so when she announced we would watch it in class I wanted to jump up and do a jig! Not really, but I was really excited!

I was very surprised though. More than half of my class left when she turned it on (she said we could but I didn't think anyone would)! Come on people! This is history in the making! Thirty plus years ago this was a dream that men and women across America didn't think could come true! And you are going to skip it?! Insane. Doesn't what is happening in America matter to you? The racial binders that are being further broken don't they cry out for you to stop and listen to the change that has take our country by storm? "I have a dream!" Those famous words. Today we've seen that dream lived out. We have an African-American President! God is incredible. This is all His doing.

My children (if and when I have some!) won't wonder why there's never been a black president. I wonder if I'll have to explain to them the times when that was unheard of. I am so proud to be an American. I'm so proud I was able to witness this moment in history. I am proud to have an African-American President.

If you didn't watch it, I highly encourage you to take a moment and do so. I'm sure you can find it if you google.

Snow!!!

I forgot to tell you guys the best part of my weekend! I saw snow! I stood in falling snow. I felt real, fresh, live snow. It was incredible. Bethany was laughing at me. But I didn't care. It has been well over ten years since I last saw snow and it was just awe-inspiring! I love snow! Isn't God amazing? He has made everything beautiful!

My Weekend

I'm sitting in a McDonald's parking lot waiting on my siblings. They are at a concert and I'm ready for that concert to be over so I can go home. I have to be up early tomorrow and I haven't really slept well the last couple nights. That happens when I'm not sleeping in my own bed. I've been with Bethany in Gatlinburg, TN and now that I've been once I have no desire to go back. I really don't like tourist towns like that. They are too busy, too crowded, too messy, too everything that is "bad". But it was fun to be with Bethany. I love her.

So I realized I'm truly obsessed with doing school while I was talking with Bethany about it. I almost started freaking out this past weekend because I didn't think I was going to have time to do any homework. I did some reading and worked on a study guide. I actually could be doing more now, but I wanted to talk to you guys.

My hair has grown on me. I really like it now. I don't know if I'll ever go back to long hair. I just think short looks better on me.

Could you pray for me? I've got a situation that isn't really a situation, but it feels like one and I'm confused. I need clarity; peace of mind; guidance; a clear path; understanding, and more. Much more. Can you tell it what it has to do with?

I'll talk to you guys later. My computer is going to die soon. I need a car charger!

AHHHH!!!! My Hair Is Gone.

I had to stop and take a break from studying. I'm going on four hours and I'm feeling it. I have three more pages and 1 chapter to finish in Sociology. I need to go over Public Speaking and French (starting today I will study French everyday... maybe I'll begin to blog in French!!) and then I need to review my English notes for tomorrow. Thank goodness I've already read everything I needed to read for that class! I would be be going crazy right now if I hadn't.

Can you tell I've been typing up my notes while studying? One of my teachers said to type everything with two spaces between words and I'm trying to get in the habit. *Edit note (the spaces didn't show up in the blog. But I did do two spaces! I promise!)*

I cut my hair again. I didn't like it the way it was and so I had it cut again. I'm not sure I like it this way either. And I can guarantee you I will be growing this stuff out. I'm a bit tired of short hair right now. I don't think I'll be going to see my stylist for a while. It's not that I don't like her (she's new and I LOVE her), I just want my hair back to normal. I'm a bit worried right now about not looking feminine (yes, it is that short!). So I will probably wear make-up everyday (if I'm going out of the house that is!) and...drum-roll.... Bethany and Marianna will appreciate this more than anyone else... I bought new earrings. I know. I know. You never thought you'd see the day. But I did and I'm wearing a pair now. I just can't stand the thought of people seeing that I only wear one or two pairs (can someone give a shout-out for peer pressure?!) and also I wanted some that would be quite noticeable. I'm a bit concerned with Dad's reaction to my hair too. We'd just talked about girls having hair that looked too closely like guys hair... and look what I have?!

Be honest with me. Does it look bad? I am soo worried! But I'm kinda hoping it will make me look more my age. Does it do that?

Oh well. I've got it until it grows out or until I grow used to it. We'll see which one comes first. I just remembered I only have one class tomorrow and plenty of time to study tomorrow so I'm going to finish my 3 pages and then go home. It's time. Time for time spent with the family.

Sweet Memories

Think of how it feels to run into someone you once held dear (or perhaps just the family of this person) all of the sweet memories of time spent with that friend comes rushing back doesn't it?

I had that happen to me today. I googled (love me some google!) a family we used to spend time with all the stinkin' time and I found their blogspot.

This past week I've thought about them a lot for some odd reason so I decided to try to find them. I knew at point they had had a blogspot but I didn't know if they still kept up with it. They do and it was so good to see pictures and what they're doing now. Everyone has grown. I almost started crying.

Well, friend (whom I stalked on google) thank you for providing me a moment to slip back into the past and remember what life was like when we spent so much time together. I miss you guys. If you read this I would love to truly hear how everyone is doing! Send me an email 16augustgirl@gmail.com

Movies in the Dark, Boys I've Liked and Basically a Bit of All of My Life Right Now

Wow. What a long title. Probably too long. Oh well.

Last night I took a (much needed!) break from school and schedules and worrying about how I was going to make it through the semester. Everyone tells me this overwhelming sense of questioning if I can make it through the spring in one piece is normal. But I don't really like it.

Studying is going well. I really like sociology. I just finished my reading for my Tuesday class. I love people watching and seeing what others are doing with their time so this is right up my alley!
English is kind of boring right now. But I'm sure it will pick up as the semester goes along. And I've yet to study for Public Speaking or French. But I can assure you that well before Tuesday I will have spent at least 2 hours on each subject. I have scheduled 24 hours of study time into my planner. We'll see how well it really works next week.
One thing I've discovered, I cannot study at home. I love my family, but they are too distracting. I want to talk to them and be involved with their lives when I'm at home and that means I have a hard time actually concentrating. So that's why I'm at Starbucks this morning. I've been here since 9:30 and it's now 12:14pm. I like it. It has just enough noise to keep me going crazy from not having any noise (hey, you grow up in a household of ten and you'd need background noise all the time too), but no one talks to me so I can focus on my schoolwork. It's perfect. Not to mention the coffee!! Ooh brother! Am I a happy woman right now! *big stupid grin*

Anyways, last night I went to the theater. One of my favorite things to do alone. Watch a sappy movie, in the dark by myself. I'm being completely serious. It's a favorite past-time! I watched Bride Wars. It was soo funny! I laughed and cried. And then I got out of the movie and the longer the drive took to get home the more I thought about all the reasons why I don't have a guy and all the guys who have liked me and why it never worked out. I cried on the way home. It was stupid. I had also figured out how I could get back together with a guy who once wanted to marry me and possibly still likes me. What is it about movies like that that make girls go crazy?! Because that's what I was doing. Going crazy. It wouldn't have worked with that guy. I mean, don't get me wrong. He was a very sweet, godly, good looking man (and just the way I like men - tall, muscular and skinny!) with blue eyes and blond hair (I'm ok with the blond hair, but two out of the last three guys I've had a crush on have had blackish-brownish hair with blue eyes... Apparently I like black hair, blue eyed men! I think I have a thing for blue eyes. I don't think I've ever liked a guy with brown eyes. Isn't that weird?!) and I liked him a lot. But it just wouldn't have worked. Although he didn't know it I was not the sweet and submissive woman he thought (I'm good at hiding things! *evil laugh* Ok, so the evil laugh might be a bit much... or maybe not!). I mean, I probably am more of the woman he would have wanted at the time (and probably still does desire) but at that point in my life I wasn't and at this point there are other problems. So either way it probably wouldn't have worked for us.

Don't worry though. I'm feeling much more normal and much more levelheaded this morning. I don't need a guy to make me feel complete and I know that one day a guy will show up and he'll have my name written on his forehead for all the world to see... won't that be interesting?! Seriously though, there is a guy the Lord has picked out who is perfect for me and I'm happy to wait for him.
Plus, I don't know how in the world I'd deal with the commitment a relationship requires right now with school and trying to start Pampered Chef (more on my frustrations with that later). I'm way too busy and I know my siblings are going to think I've completely abandoned them! I promise I haven't guys!
Interesting short series I've been reading this past week is from this guy - http://blog.andymerrick.com/. Really interesting stuff. And yes that one comment from a Lydia is me.

So Pampered Chef.... yeah. I ordered my starter kit well over a week and a half ago and it still isn't in yet. I'm a bit frustrated. My goal was to have my first show this Thursday, but that isn't going to happen. And this is going to be my source of income so I kind of need to start as soon as possible. So if you could be praying about that I would appreciate it!

So I know I purposely stopped writing blogs on MySpace, but I just have to say I miss all of you who would comment. But to those who followed me over here, I am so thankful! I love you guys! Well, this is all for now. I have an hour to study Public Speaking before heading to my hair appointment. I need a trim, but I'm still a little unhappy with my style so hopefully it will be cut to my satisfaction this time! I'm going to a new hair salon... I had two appointments in row of being very unhappy with my previous stylist. So I'm trying someone new. Should be interesting. Alright, I really have to go! I'll write again later. Soon.

Bribes

Yeah, I know you aren't supposed to reward anyone with sweets... but I did today because my brothers were so distracted and I just wanted their chores done. So I threw some ingredients in a bowl, stirred it, popped them in the oven.....

And out came these amazingly sweet and chewy cookies! They were soooooo good!

They have cream cheese, hazelnut coffee and crushed chocolate squares.

I'd share them with you, but I think they may all be gone! Cookies don't last long around my house! :)

First Day!

I'm considering today my "first" day of college. Man. I walked all over that campus. It was good though. I registered for classes, got my parking pass, student ID card, books, paid for the semester and all that good stuff. It was actually a lot of fun! And I'm really looking forward to my first class tomorrow.
All but one of my classes are in the same building and the other one is across the street. I'm A-O-K with that. I do have to walk a ways to get to the building, but that's not a big deal.
Monday and Wednesday I have a class at 8AM and then Tuesday and Thursday I have three classes from 8AM to 11:30 (I believe!) all back to back.

My goal in going to college right now is to complete as many core classes as possible before transferring to Kendall College in Chicago. When I think about the others I know who have gone to college as an 18 year old freshman, completing their courses with the best grade possible hasn't seemed like their goal and it's bothered me. There are a lot of things to be distracted by (some of these things are good things; but even too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, right?). I really hope I don't get distracted. I think that is my only fear at this point. I have no desire to fail. No desire to just make a passing grade. I want to succeed! I want to make mostly A's (I'm ok with B's too!). I want to come out of this time at this college and be beyond proud of myself!
So I guess I'm hoping that being a freshman at my age (that makes me sound so much older than my 22 years!) will keep me more focused, more on track than others I've seen.
There are two pleas for prayer in the above paragraph. One for me to get over my fear of failure and the other for me to keep focused on what is important.

I'll let you guys know how tomorrow and Thursday are for me. It will be my first time in a classroom. I am a home school graduate so my classroom has been the dining room table! My plan at this point is to go to class and after it's over to go straight to the library and complete any homework that the Prof gives out. I don't want to get behind and I think if I bring homework home it won't get worked on (that's the problem with running a house! there is always something to do!).

Last Day of My Life

Well, that's how I feel. So today I've done absolutely nothing. I read the book of the week, watched tv, checked my email, Facebook, Twitter, etc. and that's about it. Oh, Anna and I did rearrange our room. It was time. We put the beds back together so now we have the bunk bed instead of two separate beds. Our room is much too small for two beds. We have so much more space with the bunk and I don't mind climbing up to the top. It's nice to have floor space to do yoga or whatever in MY bedroom.

Anyways, I think the reason I've done nothing is because I see my life getting very busy in the future... like next week future.. like Monday and not stopping at all. I'm beginning to get nervous.

I think the back of my brain is saying, "You won't have another day like this again. So enjoy doing nothing while you can." In fact, looking back at this past week, I haven't done much at all. I've showered like every other day (you may find that gross, but that's okay because it is; rest assured, I do usually shower every day), I haven't done my hair or really even put on make-up. Yeah, I haven't cared how I look or anything. But next week will be a completely different story: I'll shower every day, do my hair and make-up and I'll dress nicely. I'm going to love Saturdays! Do I hear a shout-out for downtime?! Yes sir. Saturdays will be comfy clothes (probably my pj's) and.... a good bit of time doing homework. Maybe Saturdays won't be so relaxing after all. Especially if I'm doing Pampered Chef shows. Speaking of which, I'm becoming a consultant for Pampered Chef. Wow. I'm feeling exhausted already.

Please pray for me. I'm over-thinking everything and because of that I'm kinda freaking out! haha. Who knew school and trying to start my own business would be so stressful even before it's all truly begun.

Call Me Slow

But I just realized people have been commenting on my blogs. Wow. Thank you. I've changed my settings so I should get an email when you comment and then I'll be able to comment back! Yay! Lydia comes out of the commenting stone age! Hurray for 2009!

Anyways... First book I'm reading: Dreams From My Father by Barack Obama. This is such an interesting book so far. I'm glad I decided to read it.

I thought that since this year, this month, will be a huge moment in American history (first African-American President!) that I would read books about African-Americans who have made a difference in America's history in some form or fashion. I'm looking at Martin Luther King, Nat King Cole and Rosa Parks. But I would love suggestions. Let me know who you think I should read about. I'm up for anything.

Oh, any ideas for other "themes" for the next year? I want to read about the same subject for a month. I feel like I would get a good feel on whatever I was reading about if I do that.

So far I'm doing horrible on my resolutions. I did not exercise today. I did not get up early and the other I really couldn't do today. Pray for me. I think I'm gonna need it.