Life Will be Good

I think I just failed my first French test. It's all my own fault though. I haven't been doing my homework. I wondered today if I should have started over and taken French 1101 again. It would have really helped ground me in the language.

I was sick over the weekend. I don't think it was the flu or anything like that. I think I have been so stressed that my body said "Enough is enough! You need to rest." And I did. For two days I did nothing but sit on the couch. Drink juice. Watch movies. Sleep. It was marvelous! But now I'm back in the real world. And I've decided to make my life process of elimination. I have made a list of everything that is causing me stress and then I'm going to make a plan to eliminate them. The list was rather long... But that's okay. All of it are things that can be taken care of and life will be good.

I told my professor that I couldn't go on the six week trip. I hated telling her but she not only understood, she was thankful. It sounds bad doesn't it? But it wasn't really going to work for her to go and she was holding out for me... or at least that's how it sounded when we talked this morning. She is going to get me information on the spring break trip and we'll go from there. I want to go to France so badly!

Well, I'm gonna go. Being on the computer at the BCM always makes me nervous... never know who will/could hack your stuff!

I'm Still Alive

Sooo.... did you think I'd fallen off the face of the earth? Well, I haven't. I just have not had any time to blog.

The Lord has been pouring His grace and mercy over my soul. I have been feeling the greatness of my sin and it's downward pull. Wednesday it was all I could do to keep from crying when it was my turn to pray. I had to confess my unworthiness.

My puppy is doing well. He is a mess. Bandit likes to dig, get on the porch and lots of other things he isn't supposed to do. What's a girl supposed to do?!

A and I saw the movie Fame last night. Don't watch it. It was incredibly BORING! I talked through the movie. You know it's bad if I'm talking. I never talk in movies, especially movies I haven't yet seen.

Sometimes I go back and reread my myspace blog. I was such a creative writer then. I had time to think. I don't have time to think now. I'm ready for this semester to be over.

I want to go camping. I am seriously thinking about doing it after Josh Bales comes down. Speaking of which, the concert is still a go. You should come down. I'm seriously afraid I won't have 50 people there. Man, am I worried about that. I've got money to pay him with in case there are only like 10 folks. But still. I need to ask Joe to send an email out to the BCM people.

Sorry this is so short, but I've got to get in the shower. I'm going 4-wheeling today. Hopefully I'll make it home safe and sound. :)

Really Nasty Things

I walked into my room and all I wanted was a journal. But I don't have one because I stopped writing in a journal by hand a long time ago. This is all I have right now so it will have to do...

I am feeling really emotional right now. Partly because Mother Nature is making her rounds and the other part... I'm not really sure why.

I want to write some really nasty things about certain people. But I'd get in trouble. That's why I need a journal. *evil grin*

Sometimes I just miss him. I miss being around him. I miss his sarcasm, his jokes, how he made me laugh. I never once felt pressured to be perfect when I was around him. Sometimes I go through his facebook pictures; I did that tonight actually. I've thought a lot about him today. I guess because it's 9/11 and he's overseas... I think in Kuwait. I'm not really sure. I've been praying for his safety and for his safe return to the states. I hope he makes it in December. I would love to see him.

Did you remember it's 9/11 today? It's hard to forget; especially with everyone you run into (in person or online) makes a comment about it. My heart goes out to the families of 911. And even more so to the men and women fighting for my freedom. Thank you for all that you do.

My French prof is pretty much the most amazing, incredible professor ever. I told you about the scholarship right? Yeah, so as much as I want to go to France, I've been doing some mental math and I just don't think I can. I mean, I've got Josh Bales coming up, a maid of honor dress to buy, and decorations for a bridal shower; not to mention, I now have a puppy who is only about 12 weeks old and I told Dad I would buy his food. And I plan to keep doing that. And I'm feeling really pressured to start buying my own gas. I need a second job. I don't know how I can do all of this and afford to go to France. There is no way unless I quit school and work full time. Which, by the way, I'm not going to do. Je ne sais pas. I don't know. I don't know what to do.

I've decided on a major. I've decided on a career. I've decided where I'm going to live after I graduate. I've decided after working and saving for two years where I'm going to go on vacation. I have my life planned out up til I'm around the age of 31. I have the next 8 years of my life planned. You may laugh and that's okay, but if you don't have a plan, then what do you have? Nothing. You have a lifeless dream that may or may not come true. At least I have a goal; something to work towards; a desire, a dream, a reward at the end of my road. I have something to fight for and I want my plan to work out. So laugh if you want, but keep it to yourself. I don't want to hear it.

My plan: is to become a 4 year RN. I want to be a nurse. I love patching people up. I would be good at it. I know I would. So I'll start next fall in a nursing program. I'll be 24. Man, I'm old. Flash-forward four years, I'm 28, graduated, and moving to Apalachicola. I love it there. They have a hospital I can work at and the idea gives me thrills! I'll live there for two years and then I'm going to England, France, Ireland, I don't really know. I just know that when I'm 30 that's where I want to be. I'll stay there for a couple weeks, maybe a couple months and then move back to South GA. I'm going to buy some land and build myself a house.

I haven't quite figured out what to do with my babies when I'm in France... I now have a puppy. Did I tell you I was getting a puppy? He's a black lab. His name is Bandit. He is the sweetest puppy ever! So I have my own little family now. Queen Sheba (my cat) and Bandit (my dog) and me. *smiles* I told this to Carrie and she said, "Now all you need is a husband!" I replied, "I don't think so! I don't need a man at all." And I don't.
Men are stupid. I've yet to meet one who doesn't make me feel like I don't measure up. And all the guys I know, I'm too fat for. Which is depressing. It makes me not want to eat. I know that is wrong and I am eating so no worries. I had crunch bars, Doritos, and a coke at work today. I was hungry... I've already mentioned the reason why so I see no need to repeat it.

I need to go to sleep. Ryan is bringing my gun back tomorrow. And then I'm going to the shooting range. Then I'm going to study until 1pm-ish (I will officially bring Bandit home then). I'm gonna give that puppy a bath and then study some more. Probably at RG's house so I can have Bandit in the same room with me. RG doesn't care. I took Bandit to the Bible study Wednesday night. He is such a good dog. He didn't bark, whine or wiggle. He just sat in my lap. I am so excited! I'm going to study all Sunday afternoon too.

Night y'all. Have a wonderful weekend.

Climb a Tree

My brothers are.... wow. When I was a kid we didn't have Wii or internet or gameboys or whatever else it is that they play all the time. We didn't have over 200 channels on the tv. In fact, we had one that we were allowed to watch and that was PBS. AND we were only allowed 30 minutes a day. Amazingly we were all okay with that and we were all able to agree on one show to watch. Beyond that we were outside, or playing legos, or a board game, or we played with our Matchbox cars. We interacted, we got along and sometimes I just can't stand how much arguing goes on over these stupid, needless, accessories. They can barely agree on a show to watch and heaven forbid they have to go over four hours without the tv, wii or whatever.

What I would have given growing up for 10 acres, woods, a creek! I wouldn't have ever come inside.

So I tell my brothers to take a day off and to do something productive. What do I get in return? Complaints, arguments, complaints, arguments, complaints... I think you get the picture.

Hello World!

My life currently consist of running between class, work and home. It make not sound like much but it is actually a lot. I have already worked 15 hours this week. I'm taking 13 hours of classes and that barely leaves me anytime to do anything else. Not to mention before this week I'd been having a very hard time being motivated to do homework. So now I'm behind and feeling quite stressed about it. To make matters worse RG made me so mad I cried. That did not help my already hectic life.

This weekend is the Taylor concert. Anna, Bethany and I are going. Amazingly without Ben. Although, I'm pretty sure he is all we will hear about... now that Bsquared are engaged. We are all very happy about it. We love Ben. But sometimes I would like to talk to Bethany without talking about marriage, plans, Ben or whatever. Sometimes it would be nice to talk about me and what's going on in my life. I almost feel selfish writing that.

I am bringing homework with me. I have too. I have to work everyday on French and Math. I should probably throw some English and Psychology in there too. Praise the Lord I do not have class Monday. I am going to study ALL day!

Oh my word. My French Prof is incredible. In the Spring semester she is planning a six week trip to France. I want to go so badly! The total cost is around $4000. And she has poked around and set up a scholarship for me. I am overwhelmed with gratitude! It is not much (in light of $4000) but any little bit will help.

Josh Bales concert. It's still a go. I'm praying we have 50 people show up. If we don't I'm going to cry.

I've got to run. I have to be at work in 20 minutes. Have a good afternoon.