I've been doing some reading/researching. This whole being sick thing is not sitting well with me (literally and figuratively).
I went through the same routine: feel like I'm going to throw up, go clean the toilet, and sit in the bathroom for a while. I didn't throw up. But it is very inconvenient to feel this way.
I decided to search (gotta LOVE Google) Morning Sickness Without Being Pregnant. Apparently, it's possible. Stress can cause all kinds of horrible damage to your body if you don't control it. Vitamin deficiencies, hair loss, nausea, and more. I've had all that (and the "more" part).
So I've been taking mountains of vitamins every day. Drinking peppermint tea when I get up and chamomile right before going to bed. Peppermint and chamomile are supposed to help with upset stomach issues. I've also noticed that chamomile tea helps me sleep like a rock. I feel like I've been sleeping for 10 - 12 hours and not just sleeping, but I mean *really* sleeping. It's been amazing!
I don't know if any of it's really helping. I know the tea is helping in the mornings when my stomach is churning and I feel like I need to puke everywhere. But the vitamins I guess only time will tell.
I did realize today that stress is the real (and perhaps only) culprit in my having morning sickness (without being preggers). I received a very stressful phone call this morning (right after getting my stomach settled) concerning college. The "I feel like I need to puke" session started again but much more nauseating than before. I cried, drank my peppermint tea (which at that point wasn't doing much to help), and cried some more. Then I called Dad. After talking to Dad, I cried some more, drank more tea (do you see a pattern?), took a shower and then called the college back where I proceeded to cry on the phone with the lady at the school. I think she felt sorry for me. I felt sorry for me.
So here I am... back in the Math class. Which I sooooo did not want to be in. When I talked to Dad he said I should just drop it after two weeks. But I've decided not to do that. The lady that called said there was an appeal process that can be made at the end of the semester if I don't pass the Compass. I was a bit relieved because I've made A's and B's in all of my classes except one (attendance was optional so I opted out thus getting a D in that class. Moral of the story: If your prof says "Oh, you don't have to attend. I don't call role." ATTEND. THE. CLASS. He is most likely crazy and it's a trick to make sure you don't pass. Worked on me.).
I have to go to work (hey, that is also a source of stress for me right now too). Bethany - I blame you entirely for this sudden need to blog (again) about everything that is going on in my life.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Sick... Again
I could use some prayer. Because I'm so old I am no longer eligible for my Daddy's insurance. This really sucks. If I had insurance available I'd be going to see a doctor. And for those of you who know me *really* well you know that is a big deal.
My reasons for wanting to see a doctor? Well, I've thrown up for no reason twice in the past week. Also during the past week I've spit up bloody mucus. And Wednesday night at the RG Smooch Up (Bible Study) I felt like I was having a hard time breathing. Needless to say, I'm a bit worried.
I've basically had a cough or some form of sickness since I started working at Rite Aid. You can ask my family. I've been more sick in the past 6 months than I have even been my entire life. It's getting ridiculous.
So last night I was driving through the movie theater parking lot and guess what? My brakes went out. It's back to the van for me. I truly hate that. But I'm trying not to hate so much. I want to have a positive attitude (which is very hard for me).
I now officially have 15 credit hours. Two will go away once I tell my French Prof that I can't go to France with her (B - DO NOT FREAK OUT). And then the great debate is on! Which classes to drop so that I only have, oh lets say, around 6 - 8 credit hours...? ;) I only need four for HOPE and I'm trying to majorly de-stress. I have two histories (one of those are going to away) and then Intro to Criminology (which I'm really interested in). But I want to keep one History, and the Crim class and my French class, and my Jogging class... yeah, I might as well have a full schedule.
Okay, well, I just ate my leftover Mexican from yesterday and now my stomach doesn't feel so great (not my greatest idea after throwing up I guess). And I have to go to work. If you are still reading why don't you comment? It would make my day.
My reasons for wanting to see a doctor? Well, I've thrown up for no reason twice in the past week. Also during the past week I've spit up bloody mucus. And Wednesday night at the RG Smooch Up (Bible Study) I felt like I was having a hard time breathing. Needless to say, I'm a bit worried.
I've basically had a cough or some form of sickness since I started working at Rite Aid. You can ask my family. I've been more sick in the past 6 months than I have even been my entire life. It's getting ridiculous.
So last night I was driving through the movie theater parking lot and guess what? My brakes went out. It's back to the van for me. I truly hate that. But I'm trying not to hate so much. I want to have a positive attitude (which is very hard for me).
I now officially have 15 credit hours. Two will go away once I tell my French Prof that I can't go to France with her (B - DO NOT FREAK OUT). And then the great debate is on! Which classes to drop so that I only have, oh lets say, around 6 - 8 credit hours...? ;) I only need four for HOPE and I'm trying to majorly de-stress. I have two histories (one of those are going to away) and then Intro to Criminology (which I'm really interested in). But I want to keep one History, and the Crim class and my French class, and my Jogging class... yeah, I might as well have a full schedule.
Okay, well, I just ate my leftover Mexican from yesterday and now my stomach doesn't feel so great (not my greatest idea after throwing up I guess). And I have to go to work. If you are still reading why don't you comment? It would make my day.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Lydia's Life 2010
It's been a month since I've blogged. Actually, over a month. But blogging wasn't my friend during December so I didn't even attempt. Or perhaps expressing everything I was feeling wasn't going to be easy and so not blogging was the best way for me to ignore those feelings. Oh, how I love ignoring the hard things in life. And, to be honest, the only reason I'm blogging now is because Bethany asked me. So here I am. Hi blogging world. It's been a while.
Ignoring the hard things in life makes me think of college: I didn't pass the compass. I passed my math class with a B, but the compass test? Um... yeah. Where to do go from here? I really have no idea. I haven't flat out refused to retake the math class and then the compass, but I sure didn't sign up for the class. And I'm definitely looking for ways around it. The idea of standardized testing is so irritating to me. I know the material, I could and would do well in a "college level" math class, but because of some stupid test, I can't take any math or science classes.
Then to make matters worse, the idea that I am of no "good" without a college degree in the workplace leaves me bitter and utterly angry with the world in which I live. I am a hard worker, I am intelligent (not by any great means, but more than some for sure), and I know that whatever I put my mind, hands and souls towards I would succeed (whether by know-how, force, or whatever it took). All that to say I hate the thought that I can't succeed in life without a college degree.
By the way, classes start back next Tuesday. I'm dreading it. I don't really want to go back to school. I'm tired and I want a break. A very long break. Longer than a month. Yeah, that's not happening. I'm taking two classes on campus and the rest online. I'm sick of driving back and forth. So 12 credit hours, two days a week, I can totally handle that! Oh, and then I'll be working 20 - 25 hours a week at work, and I need to finish (really start) the dining room. Finding, rather, making time, has been harder than I thought it would be. But I only need four more hours to receive HOPE so that is the main reason I'm taking classes this Spring.
Not sure what I'm doing after Spring. Madame is moving to France so no more French classes at MGC (at least with her) and I really want to keep up the French. I am applying to Kendall College. Hopefully, my application will be complete by the end of next week. That is my goal anyways.
On to other news: I can tell Bethany has gotten past all of the humdrum of wedding planning. How? Well, there have been very long post on my fb wall all week. Which I've thoroughly enjoyed; it's been good to "talk" to my sister like we used to before she got a boy toy. And while we're halfway talking about weddings I've noticed that wedding planning brings out one of two sides in every person involved. And it doesn't matter if they are up to their hair in wedding veil material or just throwing rice at the newly-wed couple as they run to their getaway car. Wedding planning either makes people very happily unselfish or very arrogantly selfish. How I saw this time and again with Bethany's wedding right up to the day she was getting married. It was very sad and shows that people are stupid.
Did you keep up any of your New Years Resolutions from 2009? Here's mine from '09:
1. Complete as many college classes as possible.
2. Lose 30-40 pounds
3. Read one book a week (anyone want to do this with me and see who wins?!)
4. Buy a car (haha! we'll see how this goes!)
5. Paint like crazy
6. Exercise once a day
7. Get up early (like before 7am!)
How I lined up?
1) Definitely completed as many as possible (12 classes between Spring, Summer and Fall)
2) Not sure how much I lost, but I went down two jean sizes, then back up one. I'm pleased with that.
3) Yeah, that didn't last more than a week I think.... :)
4) Did not buy one, but since Bethany got married, I did get her car. Check!
5) I'm pretty sure I was talking about art, not walls in the house, so yeah, that didn't turn out so well either.
6) I did okay with this one. I know I didn't exercise every day, but I'd like to say I was close!
7) Why I wrote that I have no idea. It was stupid. Any time before 7am is ungodly and should be left to the dogs.
I didn't make any Resolutions for twenty-ten. None. Not even one. Probably a good thing. I don't know. Oh, well, who cares?!
Okay, I'm done. I need to go put on warmer clothes so I can endure another night of RG smooching up to Angela aka "Bible Study".
Bethany - I love you. You are the BEST sister in the world. :)
Ignoring the hard things in life makes me think of college: I didn't pass the compass. I passed my math class with a B, but the compass test? Um... yeah. Where to do go from here? I really have no idea. I haven't flat out refused to retake the math class and then the compass, but I sure didn't sign up for the class. And I'm definitely looking for ways around it. The idea of standardized testing is so irritating to me. I know the material, I could and would do well in a "college level" math class, but because of some stupid test, I can't take any math or science classes.
Then to make matters worse, the idea that I am of no "good" without a college degree in the workplace leaves me bitter and utterly angry with the world in which I live. I am a hard worker, I am intelligent (not by any great means, but more than some for sure), and I know that whatever I put my mind, hands and souls towards I would succeed (whether by know-how, force, or whatever it took). All that to say I hate the thought that I can't succeed in life without a college degree.
By the way, classes start back next Tuesday. I'm dreading it. I don't really want to go back to school. I'm tired and I want a break. A very long break. Longer than a month. Yeah, that's not happening. I'm taking two classes on campus and the rest online. I'm sick of driving back and forth. So 12 credit hours, two days a week, I can totally handle that! Oh, and then I'll be working 20 - 25 hours a week at work, and I need to finish (really start) the dining room. Finding, rather, making time, has been harder than I thought it would be. But I only need four more hours to receive HOPE so that is the main reason I'm taking classes this Spring.
Not sure what I'm doing after Spring. Madame is moving to France so no more French classes at MGC (at least with her) and I really want to keep up the French. I am applying to Kendall College. Hopefully, my application will be complete by the end of next week. That is my goal anyways.
On to other news: I can tell Bethany has gotten past all of the humdrum of wedding planning. How? Well, there have been very long post on my fb wall all week. Which I've thoroughly enjoyed; it's been good to "talk" to my sister like we used to before she got a boy toy. And while we're halfway talking about weddings I've noticed that wedding planning brings out one of two sides in every person involved. And it doesn't matter if they are up to their hair in wedding veil material or just throwing rice at the newly-wed couple as they run to their getaway car. Wedding planning either makes people very happily unselfish or very arrogantly selfish. How I saw this time and again with Bethany's wedding right up to the day she was getting married. It was very sad and shows that people are stupid.
Did you keep up any of your New Years Resolutions from 2009? Here's mine from '09:
1. Complete as many college classes as possible.
2. Lose 30-40 pounds
3. Read one book a week (anyone want to do this with me and see who wins?!)
4. Buy a car (haha! we'll see how this goes!)
5. Paint like crazy
6. Exercise once a day
7. Get up early (like before 7am!)
How I lined up?
1) Definitely completed as many as possible (12 classes between Spring, Summer and Fall)
2) Not sure how much I lost, but I went down two jean sizes, then back up one. I'm pleased with that.
3) Yeah, that didn't last more than a week I think.... :)
4) Did not buy one, but since Bethany got married, I did get her car. Check!
5) I'm pretty sure I was talking about art, not walls in the house, so yeah, that didn't turn out so well either.
6) I did okay with this one. I know I didn't exercise every day, but I'd like to say I was close!
7) Why I wrote that I have no idea. It was stupid. Any time before 7am is ungodly and should be left to the dogs.
I didn't make any Resolutions for twenty-ten. None. Not even one. Probably a good thing. I don't know. Oh, well, who cares?!
Okay, I'm done. I need to go put on warmer clothes so I can endure another night of RG smooching up to Angela aka "Bible Study".
Bethany - I love you. You are the BEST sister in the world. :)
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Cleanse Me Project
So part of my 25 Days of Christ is a commitment to pray for people. I don't do that enough and it's definitely something I should be doing. Isn't it one of the most encouraging things in the whole to know that you are being prayed for?
If your name isn't on the list, well, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to offend anyone.
start. stop.or whatever.
I'm kinda freaked out. This morning I took the compass test for the second time. I feel like if I don't pass it's the end. I do not want to take that class or test again. I seriously suck at math and I'm okay with that.
And I'm avoiding anything that has to do with my next class. I have a paper due that I've barely started. I haven't even finished reading the literature it's supposed to be on. I'm also supposed to have secondary sources... yeah, haven't done any of that either.
I guess I should stop blogging and start homework. ugh.
And I'm avoiding anything that has to do with my next class. I have a paper due that I've barely started. I haven't even finished reading the literature it's supposed to be on. I'm also supposed to have secondary sources... yeah, haven't done any of that either.
I guess I should stop blogging and start homework. ugh.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friendship
It's been weird in a way. I mean, I don't have many "girl friends" and in the past two weeks I've become friends with two different girls who are amazing. They love Jesus and I haven't had that in forever.
I just feel like this is another way the Lord is saying, "Lydia, I love you and I know what you need, what you desire and even though you couldn't see that you needed the friendship of godly women, I could and I have provided. Be encouraged. I am watching over you."
I spend three hours with a girl from my pysch class tonight at Starbucks, drinking coffee and talking about life. I haven't had this many female friends who love the Lord ever. In fact, I've only really had my sisters and maybe one other friend. Now I have three plus my sisters.
And what makes this really amazing is the fact that I've been worried about people I spend a lot of time around and I wasn't sure what to do because I desire fellowship with females. But out of the three women I spend most of my time with, only one was truly seeking the Lord and it was/is so easy to get pulled into selfish thinking, and to talk about things I really shouldn't be talking about. I had not even prayed about my concern of who I was spending a lot of time with because I didn't feel like there was anything that could be done about it. I mean, I spend a lot of time around those women. But, yet again, the Lord has provided without me asking. I am so insane. Crazy for doubting Him. Selfish, ungrateful, and just plain stupid for choosing not to trust.
God, forgive me. I repent of my wicked ways. I know I will sin again because I am human, and I stumble all the time, but Lord I pray You will keep my faith strong. Lift me up and reveal Your glory to me. Thank You for answering unspoken prayers. Thank you for providing godly women to be my friends. I do not deserve Your love but I thank You that You give so freely.
I just feel like this is another way the Lord is saying, "Lydia, I love you and I know what you need, what you desire and even though you couldn't see that you needed the friendship of godly women, I could and I have provided. Be encouraged. I am watching over you."
I spend three hours with a girl from my pysch class tonight at Starbucks, drinking coffee and talking about life. I haven't had this many female friends who love the Lord ever. In fact, I've only really had my sisters and maybe one other friend. Now I have three plus my sisters.
And what makes this really amazing is the fact that I've been worried about people I spend a lot of time around and I wasn't sure what to do because I desire fellowship with females. But out of the three women I spend most of my time with, only one was truly seeking the Lord and it was/is so easy to get pulled into selfish thinking, and to talk about things I really shouldn't be talking about. I had not even prayed about my concern of who I was spending a lot of time with because I didn't feel like there was anything that could be done about it. I mean, I spend a lot of time around those women. But, yet again, the Lord has provided without me asking. I am so insane. Crazy for doubting Him. Selfish, ungrateful, and just plain stupid for choosing not to trust.
God, forgive me. I repent of my wicked ways. I know I will sin again because I am human, and I stumble all the time, but Lord I pray You will keep my faith strong. Lift me up and reveal Your glory to me. Thank You for answering unspoken prayers. Thank you for providing godly women to be my friends. I do not deserve Your love but I thank You that You give so freely.
Cleanse Me
The longing for my Savior has flooded my heart, mind and soul. A couple Wednesday nights ago I asked my Blood brothers and sisters to pray that God would soften my heart because I knew it was hard and resistant to the Lord. Since then Christ has poured His wondrous love into my broken, bleeding, pleading heart and soul.
So with that desire to know and worship my Savior, and December right around the corner, I'm going to start 25 Days of Christ. I want this Christmas season to be all about Father Love. I want to remove all distractions and cleanse my heart and soul through worship for my One and Only.
So with that desire to know and worship my Savior, and December right around the corner, I'm going to start 25 Days of Christ. I want this Christmas season to be all about Father Love. I want to remove all distractions and cleanse my heart and soul through worship for my One and Only.
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